Much creative work is solitary and/or lonely. The act of trying to create something that no one has ever seen or said before is something that has to be done alone, by definition. Even while working in teams or with a collaborative partner, you must still extract your thoughts and ideas and give them form. No one can that for you.
Since we are all unique individuals, with different memories, skills, knowledge, and personalities, no other person can understand the nuances of how we think and feel about things. More importantly, the lack of telepathy or brain-to-machine interfaces makes creative output a solitary experience. For many people, the solitude and invisibility of the creative process can cause feelings of loneliness, isolation, and sadness.
Hugh MacLeod on the loneliness and risks of creative work
Hugh MacLeod is a cartoonist and writer who has been a big influence on my thinking during the past three years. He wrote some choice words about creative work in his book Ignore Everybody. One of the underlying themes of his work, which you see echoed by other successful creators, is the pain involved in doing creative work. He does not make it look glamorous or easy; sacrifice is clearly required to do the undone.
Solitude is part of the pain that Hugh refers to. Just look at the title of his book. His first key to being creative is to ignore other people’s advice because they can’t really understand what you are doing or what you are going through. Therefore, their advice will usually be useless.
The theme of being alone and suffering through pain continues on with some of the chapter headings from Ignore Everybody:
- Good ideas have lonely childhoods
- If you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you
- Nobody cares. Do it for yourself.
Bothered yet? Here are a couple of additional quotes that might put you over the edge:
The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.
Nobody suddenly discovers anything. Things are made slowly and in pain.
Other thoughts on the necessary loneliness of creative work
A few writers have weighed in on loneliness in creative work:
Ernest Hemmingway
Writing, at its best, is a lonely life. Organizations for writers palliate the writer’s loneliness, but I doubt if they improve his writing. He grows in public stature as he sheds his loneliness and often his work deteriorates. For he does his work alone and if he is a good enough writer he must face eternity, or the lack of it, each day.
Stephen King
Writing fiction, especially a long work of fiction, can be a difficult, lonely job; it’s like crossing the Atlantic Ocean in a bathtub. There’s plenty of opportunity for self-doubt.
Anne Lamott
Being a writer guarantees that you will spend too much time alone – and that as a result, your mind will begin to warp.
Solitude vs. loneliness during creative work
I’m making a big deal out of this, but it’s important to acknowledge that solitude and loneliness can be a huge part of the creative process. I won’t even go into pain. Suffice it to say that when you’ve had to rip up a drawing for the umpteenth time, rewrite paragraphs or sentences endlessly, or pick up something and rebuild it AGAIN after it falls down AGAIN, you will understand pain. I expect that you understand that already.
Solitude and loneliness are different things, of course.
Solitude is when you are physically apart from other people. Loneliness is the pain we feel when there’s no one to talk to or touch. Loneliness also appears when we are unable to connect with anyone on an emotional or spiritual level even when we are not alone.
Solitude is not always painful. Loneliness always seems to be.
Being creative means being used to being alone while you work. Some of us prefer some solitude because it means we won’t be interrupted while we work! It’s hard enough to squeeze something new out of your head onto another medium when no one is bothering you; distractions make the process exponentially harder.
But the feeling of loneliness… well, that’s a hard one.
Why creative work must be a solitary pursuit
After all, when you’re doing creative work, you’re the only one who can make it come to life. No one else can fish stuff out of your subconscious. Only you can perform the idle musing, free association, pattern recognition, and creative thinking that will produce the art that only you can produce: that which is yours and yours alone.
Other people… unless they really understand you and what you’re trying to do, they tend to produce more noise than the signal that you’re trying to receive and process when you’re doing creative work.
Unless you’re really talented at collaborating with other people, you will be forced to do a big chunk of creative work alone.
That may or may not be a bad thing.
Is loneliness a form of emotional self-sabotage?
Isolation can be tough – thankfully it’s temporary most of the time unless you’re J.D. Salinger, in which case isolation is persistent because it’s what you wanted. For those of us who aren’t so comfortable with long stretches of solitude, the lack of contact or having no one to listen to you is painful.
It’s possible, though, that loneliness is just another expression of what Seth Godin calls Resistance in his book Linchpin. Resistance (a term originally coined by author Steven Pressfield in his excellent book The War of Art) is what Seth refers to as fear of change or risk, which comes the part of our vestigial Lizard Brain called the amygdala. This fear of change jumps in at the amygdala’s command and tries to put the brakes on our attempts to do good new creative work. This is a cause of writer’s block.
And isn’t loneliness at least partially fear-based, a feeling that we may be alone for a long time? Could feelings of loneliness serve as an emotional self-sabotage that threatens to derail our creative work because it can change our lives?
Or is it just part of the human experience?
How to handle loneliness during creative work
In my experience, there only seems to be three possible solutions to the loneliness problem:
- Accept the pain and/or use it
- Find thoughtful collaborators to mitigate loneliness without interfering with your work
- Go do something else to do
Let’s look at these for a moment.
Accept the pain and/or use it
Theoretically, you should be able to get used to being alone. A lot of creative people seem to prefer solitude because it removes distractions. The question is… how much can you take?
Can you turn off the feelings of loneliness? My personal experience says that no, you can’t. At best you can ignore the lonelies or you can distract yourself so that you don’t notice the fact that you are lonely.
Can you convert your feelings to something useful? I think it’s possible. I’m sure that there are many creatives who have turned their feelings of loneliness and isolation into art. Apparently it worked for Emily Dickinson, the Bronte sisters, etc. Is it a good way to live? Only you can answer that question for yourself.
Should you treat feelings of loneliness the way that you would treat fear? Or sadness? Should you just accept loneliness as a natural barrier that your mind erects to prevent change? Then do you just need to figure out how to press on through?
Find thoughtful collaborators to mitigate loneliness without interfering with your work
Isn’t this what artist co-ops, studios, and co-working spaces are all about?
I’ll be honest, I have very little experience with this kind of working arrangement, other than some comedy and creative writing pieces that I’ve done with an old friend years ago. Sure, I work and collaborate in an office environment, but it’s not the kind of creative work that I’ve been writing about in this post.
Well, OK, that’s not entirely true. Thoughtwrestling is turning out to be a great platform for collaboration; our ka-tet is a great group. However, it’s an entirely virtual team made up of people scattered across North America. It doesn’t really ease the feelings of physical isolation, but it does provide a bit of an emotional and spiritual connection that helps. Forums, mastermind groups, etc. can help provide this kind of support.
Go do something else to do
This is the least desirable scenario in my opinion. If you have a creative urge, it is a horrible, horrible shame to pass it up because you can’t stand time by yourself. Make the best of working with distractions or else get some collaborators to help reinforce you if you want to realize your creative dreams.
But, if you decide that the price of solitude is too high for you, it’s better to accept that up front instead of embarking on a journey that’s wrong for you.
If you do creative work, does loneliness affect you? If so, how do you deal with that? Conversely, if creative work doesn’t make you feel lonely, why do you think that is?
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Image by pedrosimoes7
Update: At Zen Habits, Leo Babauta has written a post describing perhaps the most important creative habit: solitude.
No related posts.
I jotted down a thought as I was reading this and it was this: You’re only lonely when it isn’t working.
I think there may be something to that. When you’re caught up in something, you aren’t really aware of your surroundings or how you feel. It’s only when the flow stops that you realize, “Hey, I’m all alone here.”
It may also be an interesting to ask, are we isolated because we’re creative or are we creative because we’re isolated? A chicken and egg question. I’m not sure it’s a question that matters though.
There are also personality types that tend to be more creative, in a traditional sense (artists etc.) but also more given to solitude and isolation – introverted personalities. That would be a factor I think.
Personally, especially since I work from home alone, I literally make myself leave the house and go out. Sometimes I’ll work at a restaurant downtown, and sometimes I get work done and sometimes I just chat with people. Apart from relieving a sense of loneliness, it also provides input (stimulation) for creativity, even if the contact isn’t specific to what I’m working on.
I’ve done more formal group things (writers’ groups) in the past but found them not really that helpful – for me. I tend to feel more isolated because what someone else is interested in doesn’t interest me and vice versa, and because we all have our specific focus they don’t quite “get” what I’m working on or why. (Again, vice versa.) So interaction specific to creativity isn’t necessarily something that works for me. What works, generally, is plain old human contact: talking about a hockey game, gardening, dogs etc.
I have problems of loneliness far less now, almost none, but it took a long time to get there. And honestly, it all came down to one thing: get the heck out of the house. Be around people. Then go back to work.
Now I feel like writing a post that says that being alone while trying to create is a very positive thing! With breaks, of course.
I find a lot of creative people I’ve known (myself included) actually want to be alone. Especially when they’re in the zone. For me personally, I like being around people but I can only do it for so long. Then I want to go off by myself again. It’s kind of a balancing act. Balance is likely the key: too much of anything is too much, including solitude and people.
I’m an INTJ on the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator testing, so I can identify with the need for some solitude.
Oops – I left a reply on your “morgue” posting that was supposed to go here! I won’t repost it, because I don’t want to act like spam, but I did want you to know that the comments there pertained to the post above. – Ted
Hi Ted, I saw your other comment, no worries. Thanks!
An ideal day to me is a Saturday all to myself with nothing to do except work on my blogs. This INFJ absolutely revels in it.
However, since I have that sort of Saturday/Sunday every chance I get, when I do find myself out in the community, everyone else has been doing things together, talking to one another, all that time while I’ve been having my awesome time alone. So now I find myself lonely when out in the world, because everyone has sort of gotten out of the habit of talking to me and we have nothing in common. I have some great online bloggin’ buddies though!
That does sound like a good Saturday… although you seem to have a bit of a cautionary tale there, too.
Hi Mark: When you’re creating something new, for a long time it really doesn’t look like anything. It’s like a blob you’re trying to give shape to. If you show the blob to someone or you try to talk to them about it, they probably won’t understand. So you do have to have lots of faith in yourself, and you need to have the ability to spend enormous amounts of time alone with your blob. Maybe the solution is to follow periods of intense work filled with isolation with a period of time in which you do very little work but spend lots of time socializing.
Loved the post.
Thanks Marelisa. Your advice sounds very similar to Bill’s above and I think you’re catching the essence of what Hugh MacLeod was writing about as well. Makes sense.
Bill’s comment really resonates for me – it’s only lonely when it’s not working.
When I’m writing and in the flow, I can’t be alone, because I’m not conscious of myself as a self. I’m one with the creating. It’s the most gorgeous contented, focused state I experience. This is what Martin Seligman calls a gratification.
I create in solitude every day, and I’m a huge extrovert, and being lonely and creating in solitude are two entirely different things for me.
I also think we need to dispense with the myth that creating is inherently a solo enterprise. The work of teams of screen writers, theater groups, improv dance companies, artists who work in collaboration all suggest otherwise. I believe there is such a thing as true co-creation, where the lines between individual creators blur or are dissolved.
Thanks for this reflection –really interesting topic!
Hi Tara, thanks for stopping to comment!
Ah, you brought up the magic word “flow”… personally I would find it very hard to enter a state of flow unless I was by myself. And I get your point about how you, as an extrovert, prefer to create in solitude.
I don’t deny that creative work can be done in a collaborative fashion, and done well. My guess, though, is that it takes time, practice, and trust to do that effectively. I also think there are still times when someone’s doing it alone, at least initially, and they have to push ahead, much like the example that Marelisa mentions in the comments.
I have no problems being alone when creating and in fact prefer it. However I think what you’re saying here isn’t necessarily true (or is only part of a larger truth). I bet Chris Brogan and Julien Smith weren’t alone when they wrote Trust Agents together. And what about the team of people that put video games together? How about the crew of a motion picture? These are all highly collaborative works that don’t seem to fit what you’re describing in this post.
I’ll go for “part of a larger truth”. As I’ve mentioned in some of the comments, I certainly believe that creative work can be done in groups (as per the examples that you describe). However, there’s a point early on when you don’t really know what you’re doing and where it’s going to go and I think that can be a difficult place to be. And, of course, there’s always the solo creator.
So, I think you can bring up lots of good examples that are pro and con, no?
I think conceiving ideas is usually done alone, and trying to bring in collaborators can be tough because they may not believe in your idea like you do. But then, when you have them, there’s an incredible camaraderie and an “us against the world” feeling that’s impossible to have when you’re working alone.
And even in groups, there is usually a leader whose vision is being followed by the rest of the group. That can be a pretty lonely place to be thanks to group dynamics. Think about roles like project manager or lead designer or producer.
All true. I’ve been part of creative teams (heck, even a member of a band for a brief time) and I get the collaboration vibe. I’ve also been a project manager and experienced that as well.
I think the solo writer (especially one who hasn’t been published) or the solo artist are the ones who have to deal with solitude the most.
A lot of my creative work has either been in comics or theatre, both of which are (or often are) collaborative. There is a lot to be said for a “single vision” that comes out of solitude, but even the solitary creator will have a support system of friends, family, and editors that will serve as a sounding board. With today’s internet capabilities, we never have to work in solitude if we don’t want to. We can train a webcam on ourselves, leave MSN on in the background, use Google Wave to write a document with someone else.
I remember being fascinated by a concept in Scott McCloud’s comic book, Zot!, which was published about 20 years ago; a musician character called Max was practising in real time audio and video with other musicians over his world’s version of the internet. With screen-sharing and Skype and various other technologies, almost any artist with a computer could do the same.
I wonder if loneliness, especially now, is simply one of the many strategies that Godin’s lizard brain throws out there to mask the true issue: lack of confidence. And paradoxically, the best way to build confidence is to push through the insecurity and Get Things Done.
Yes, Scott, you’ve hit on two key points that I didn’t cover as well as I would have liked to:
1. You don’t have to be alone and lonely, at least not in a virtual sense.
2. Loneliness and lack of confidence: I think there could be something to that.
Fascinating discussion here. I think it comes down many factors being involved: the kind of work (solo? collaborative?), the kind of person/people and so on.
I think even in collaboration, the seed has to begin somewhere and that is usually done solo. The fleshing out is where the collaboration comes in. Film is a great example of collaboration: everyone is involved. But even there, it begins with a script and where there are several screenwriters still someone initiated it with a first draft, short story or some kind of outline.
I just came across an interesting comment in a John Barth essay where he stated that literature has four characteristics, one of which is solitude. He said it was the only art form he knew of that was produced in solitude and received in solitude. The relationship between the writer and the work and the reader and the work are solitary. Not sure what significance that might have … but I found it interesting.
[...] Dealing with the lonely pursuit of creative work [...]
[...] Much of creativity is about contradictions. We need distractions but we can’t be distracted. We have a system but we can’t be systematized. We need solitude but we need people. [...]
In my world, it seems most of my time is spent trying to acheive solitude before my family “needs me for something”. Ever since I began creating music, writing songs, and recording I’m not as alone as I thought. Jesus and the Devil are as real as the 2 souls inside me that quarrell at times. I like to spend my time alone, but will spend time playing Smash Brothers Brawl with my cousins or spend time with my girlfriend.
I hear you about the time spent trying to create solitude! Thanks for stopping by!